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Dec. 7th, 2025 06:49 am
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
[personal profile] sorcyress
Thought to myself "I should go make a dreamwidth post", and holy shit, I knew it had been a while when I posted the anniversary post, but I hadn't realized it's been basically a _month_. Blugh. Blugh!

(we just figured out Blues Clues, y'all. :P)

Here's some stuff that's happened between Racheline and Patty's wedding and now:

*I have been struggling pretty hard with brain stuff, which is okay and happens, but is annoying! It's all the usual culprits come out to play --don't wanna do any grading or actual work, just want to burrow and hibernate because that's the correct way to do things when the sun goes away.

*I am real sad about living in the world I live in in 2025. I am sad that capitalism. I am sad that transphobia. I am sad that rampant xenophobia that's fucking up the lives of my students. I am sad, and it's hard and weird to just go on as normal.

*Tonight the polycool went out to see Club Drosselmeyer! I've been vaguely aware of this weird little Boston tradition since 2017, when I saw their unrelated show Save the Munbax, but never actually managed to try this one. It was fun! It's a lightweight puzzle hunt mixed with immersive theatre mixed with a dance floor. We had a very nice time, I think, and appreciated that we could sorta split up in ways that let those of us who wanted to just chill and work on puzzles do that, and those that wanted to go chat up all the characters do *that*.

*Thanksgiving was really good --Tuesday and I did it jointly with our collective families, down at my parents house. It worked out unsurprisingly well to have Cameron be in charge of the kitchen, with me providing big-sibling-bossiness as backup to their decisive understanding of what needed to happen. The driving from here and back was much less good, and I'm excessively grateful that I have train tickets for the next big trip.

*I don't know what else I've had in the way of ~adventures~ it's mostly just been the everyday. I liked the snow this morning, that greeted me when I went to bells. I've been trying to work on some projects, like actually getting the downstairs closet resorted and bringing some stuff I don't need to the school for coat drives and clothing swaps and the like. I'm teaching SCD this month at Cambridge class, so that's exciting! My weird tiny dance that I run is also really exciting, even if it's not as flashy --I feel good about it though!

My life is mostly good, but the ADHD and the seasonal stuff have been harder than usual. Millions of little ways to improve on that, I suppose. I picked up Habitica again, and that was helping for a time, but has maybe slipped out of grasp some. Hopefully tomorrow (don't look at the time, I mean Sunday when I say that) will be a good chance to catch up on a little bit of that.

Goodnight, I love you

~Sor
MOOP!

Eighteen.

Dec. 1st, 2025 11:49 pm
sorcyress: Drawing of me as a pirate, standing in front of the Boston Citgo sign (Default)
[personal profile] sorcyress
Trigger Warning: Sexual and emotional abuse.

I don't know that milk is supposed to be a thing you put on your altar --probably it's not a great choice, what with the fact that it spoils and stuff.

But it's eighteen years tonight and tomorrow, and I wasn't gonna _not_. I'll clean it up tomorrow. The room can live with milk in it for twelve hours.

I think I get ice cream tomorrow. I don't know what else my plans are, but I think ice cream is an absolutely pivotal part of it. Drink the thing that poisons those who would hurt you. Be stronger than they are. Have a thing that brings you joy that will keep them away, keep them from being able to touch you.

Eighteen years ago was the last time I was raped. I have now lived half my life in "after". Well. Tomorrow morning. Tonight and then. Approaching midnight means still at the Hoff theatre. I think the part where he tried to fuck me without any kind of protection was the Friday night, would've been last night. Now is the Saturday night, and the very last of all of it, the very last time we are still on good terms.

(I think it's the time I didn't get to kiss August, but maybe that was earlier in the fall. Because it is only okay to kiss women, because in addition to every other insecurity, doesn't actually believe in bisexuality or recognize it as a real threat. My queerness is an additional fuck you.)

Half my life since we broke up. Half my life since after.

I did it.

I made it to 36 without fucking up someone half my age. I made it to 36 with relationships that are good, with partners that love who _I_ am and not just what I can do for them. I made it to 36 and can have sex that is joyful and funny and weird and hot and kinky and consensual and consensual and consensual and consensual.

"And it isn't my fault that the barbarian raped me"

I made it to 36, and in less than twelve hours I'll be more than half my life since him. Not just without him --from first meeting to last was only ever five years, we've done that over and over-- but _since_ him. Half my life _since_ I was raped. Half my life _since_ I was abused.

Half my life since I tried to set myself on fire to keep someone else warm. I am already full of warmth, I will share that with joy. I don't need to burn to provide it.

I'm just going in circles with this, but I'm okay with that, because I've been going in circles for eighteen years. Cycles of healing and hurting, of getting better and suddenly worse. It's part of being human, not leaving things totally behind. And I wouldn't dream of trying to write of what my life was like in the before. Too much of it is here in after.

Almost the majority, in fact.

Happy Anniversary, kSatyr Wulfsohn. You lost and it is entirely your own fault. I hope you figure that out someday, and I hope that it chokes you into actually becoming a better person.

None worked the ways to break me you contrived.
Fuck you I'm not a victim: I survived.


~R.
MOOP!

On dreamwidth, trigger warnings go both ways. Sexual and emotional abuse allusions.
denise: Image: Me, facing away from camera, on top of the Castel Sant'Angelo in Rome (Default)
[staff profile] denise posting in [site community profile] dw_news
Hello, friends! It's about to be December again, and you know what that means: the fact I am posting this actually before December 1 means [staff profile] karzilla reminded me about the existence of linear time again. Wait, no -- well, yes, but also -- okay, look, let me back up and start again: it's almost December, and that means it's time for our annual December holiday points bonus.

The standard explanation: For the entire month of December, all orders made in the Shop of points and paid time, either for you or as a gift for a friend, will have 10% of your completed cart total sent to you in points when you finish the transaction. For instance, if you buy an order of 12 months of paid time for $35 (350 points), you'll get 35 points when the order is complete, to use on a future purchase.

The fine print and much more behind this cut! )

Thank you, in short, for being the best possible users any social media site could possibly ever hope for. I'm probably in danger of crossing the Sappiness Line if I haven't already, but you all make everything worth it.

On behalf of Mark, Jen, Robby, and our team of awesome volunteers, and to each and every one of you, whether you've been with us on this wild ride since the beginning or just signed up last week, I'm wishing you all a very happy set of end-of-year holidays, whichever ones you celebrate, and hoping for all of you that your 2026 is full of kindness, determination, empathy, and a hell of a lot more luck than we've all had lately. Let's go.

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